The Journey

untitled drawing, 2015, charcoal on paper, 22X30"

isn't everything and everyone a journey?
     every cell, every atom
moving from one place to another

my eyes follow

the tiles in the bathroom
outlined in grey
     cement lines that take me
from one little square to another
and another
and another
like an eternal question
     why am I never satisfied

because I'm always following
        a line
that never ends

perhaps this is why I don't paint trees

trees have a trunk, roots, and branches that end
their lines break off and turn into sky and grass
     too finite
     too decisive
they're an answer, not a question


do the lines in my paintings have answers?
they circle one another, over and under
I want to spend more time with them
     listening
but I'm too impatient
        too restless

"Save me from my desires", 2015, oil on canvas, 60X60"

viewers see this
they know things without knowing they know
   
because we all do
we're all connected this way
        this knowing without knowing
we're all connected by this journey
whether it's a line in a painting or cement around bathroom tiles
I see this everywhere, in everything
   

a journey by definition
never ends
once you arrive it becomes something else
     it becomes
a destination

I set goals like destinations but I could be more grateful
for the journey I guess

I would like to paint trees
I keep trying
I would like to be the tree
     with a clear beginning and end
        bending and changing with the seasons
           but always
always the same


 
[This excerpt was written during a wonderful writing workshop given by Maya Gottfried at the Shambhala Yoga Center in Beacon. Thanks Maya and Shannon for putting this together!]